1st Week of Lent-Spiritual Duties to Parents

"The Lord thy God shalt thou worship and him only shalt thou serve." St. Matthew, 4:10

A ripple of excitement ran through the orphanage. All the motherless and fatherless little ones wanted to see the great lady who had come to take Jane, one of the orphans, home with her. The girl herself was bewildered beyond expression. After Jane had put on her hat and coat and was about ready to leave with her new mother, the great lady asked her gently and smilingly: "Do you want to go with me and be my child?"

"I don't know for sure," Jane answered timidly.

"But, I'm going to give you beautiful clothes, and a lot of playthings, and a room of your own, with a pretty bed and table and chairs."

After a moment of silent thought the little one asked anxiously: "But what am I to do for - for all that?"

Bursting into tears and pulling the little one to her heart the lady sobbed: "All you have to do is to be my child and love me."

In a way all of us are orphans and God has given us to a certain mother and a certain father to take care of us. That our parents do at great expense and sacrifice. What do our parents want in return? Like the lady who had adopted little Jane, all our parents want is our love and reverence and obedi­ence. These are the three spiritual duties of every child toward its parents.

1. Love means a sincere attachment to our parents. We are commanded to love all our fellowmen. How much more ought we to love those who gave us life and cared for us when we could not take care of ourselves? It should be a kindly, thankful attachment to and admiration for father and mother. We must wish them every blessing, no matter what their faults. We must repeatedly, determine to cause them no pain. As much as possible we want to keep from them any worry, labor or discomfort that we can spare them.

2. Love is shown especially by a sincere daily prayer. Everyone of you as a tiny boy and a tiny girl knelt down at bedtime and prayed: "God bless papa and God bless mama." Now that we are grownups, do we continue to say that prayer? Why not offer up Holy Mass for them occasionally? Why not receive Holy Communion for them and tell them about it? Particularly when you have differences and misunderstand­ings with your parents, you should pray for them.

3. Unfortunately we sometimes find that those who should be giving the example of service of God and devotion to their faith, either our parents or ourselves as parents, may not giving God the attention He deserves and demands. It is extremely sad and sinful, but there are homes where the children go to Mass and the sacraments, but the parents do not. We need to pray for parents, especially if they are spiritually careless.

4. Love is a weak thing when it does not show itself. If they are still living, we should show that we love our parents by visiting them , by remembering their birthdays, by writing a letter or card to them regularly, by avoiding cross looks and words, by providing for them in want and in danger, and by taking care of them in sickness and old age.

5. Our second big duty to parents is reverence which requires that we speak with respect to them, that we accept their corrections humbly. It requires that we excuse and hide their faults. If we are obliged to keep quiet about the failings of others in general, surely we should try to cover the faults of those nearest and dearest to us. Reverence and intelligence suggest that we consult our parents in the decisions of life, especially in matters of great importance. I realize that too many fathers and mothers do not want to be bothered with the problems of growing children, but most parents are willing and able to give some splendid advice and help. Your parents have been "through the mill" as we say. Taking them into your confidence is a wise move.

6. Reverence forbids us to despise or ignore our parents, especially when they are poor or old-fashioned. It forbids "talking back," insolence and con­tempt. The guilt of irreverence depends on how much contempt we show. Sometimes it may be a mortal sin.

7. Our third duty to one's father and mother is obedience. We want to obey, not because we are afraid of being punished, but because we love and reverence our parents. They are taking God's place, don't forget, and they are respon­sible before God in the training and rearing of their children.

Your best example and inspiration in this is the life of Jesus Himself, who was subject to Mary and Joseph, even though, as God, He knew infi­nitely more than they did, even though, as God, He was infinitely more perfect than they were.

There are many things in the world today which lead us and tempt us to fail in love and reverence and obedience to our parents. The world has gone slightly crazy in this matter. Just listen to some:

"Honor my parents? Why? I did not ask them to bring me into the world."

"Obey my parents? Why, they are out of touch with the world, they're old-fashioned. They are still behind the times."

"Reverence my parents? I'm too busy playing for the favor of the world, for a promotion at work or social circle, too busy making money."

If your parents have passed from this life to the next, we should still show our love for them by our actions and words, by praying for them, in helping others in a spirit of love for God.

All the while there stands God's law and God's promise. It is the most rock-bottom law of society. And it is the most certain promise you could ever receive. Live according to that law, honor your father and your mother, and the good Lord will bless you here and hereafter. By honoring, obeying and revering your parents you are serving God as the Gospel commands. Amen.
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Adapted from Talks on the Commandments
by Fr. Arthur Tonne