The Priest at Prayer, May 14

The Priest and the Eternal Truths

The Priest's Particular Judgement

Second Meditation - Preliminaries

I. "All of us have a scrutiny to undergo before Christ's judgement-seat, for each to reap what his moral life has earned, good or ill, according to his ­deeds." (II Cor. v, 10)

Not even St. Paul, who ventured to say "we shall sit in judgement on angels" (I Cor. vi, 3), considered himself exempt from this all-embracing assessment of his life's free acts.

The very Mother of God herself was not exempt! Free from all stain of sin, original and actual, free from the loss of maidenhood even when she became a Mother, but not free from being weighed in the Divine Balance. Shall I be more privileged?

Lord, I believe that one day, perhaps quite soon, Thou wilt come to judge my life; so I shall take to heart the words of The Preacher:

Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is all man:
And all things that are done, God will bring into judgement for every error, whether it be good or evil. (Ecclesiastes xii, 13-14)

II. My soul will leave the body; all its immense energies, dispersed until then among an endless number of creatures and over the boundless realm of its dreams and illusions, drained through each bodily sense and organ, will be gathered together and concentrated with­in itself, within their fountainhead and reservoir. Like flocks of birds overtaken by the night, they will home to the roost. These scattered energies will blend into one great yearning: to see God, to possess Him, to enjoy Him, the last remaining Good, the One Source where the soul can quench its burning thirst for eternal happi­ness.

And thus my soul, alone - "tacita per umbras"­ - silent through the shadows, with no companion but that unquenchable yearning, with no possessions but its good or evil deeds, will start journeying through the regions of its immortality. It will hardly have taken the first steps when it beholds the dreaded Judge face to face, who will say: "I am Jesus, and I come to ask thee for an account of thy stewardship, for thou can be steward no longer."

III. Ego sum Jesus. How shall we transcribe this first confronting of the Redeemer with the soul of the un­worthy priest?

"I am Jesus: no longer the Crucified Jesus whom people, including His own ministers, were free to discuss, to insult, or disdainfully to ignore like a god of straw; no more the Jesus of the Tabernacle, silent, reserved, hidden beneath the meager appearances of bread. Year in and year out thou didst bandy Me hither and thither, treating Me with discourtesy and irreverence and thought­lessness such as no equal of thine would have toler­ated, treating Me with every kind of profanation and sacrilege. And from My hiding beneath the Sacramental Species I said nothing, not a murmur of complaint, not a sob or sigh came from My lips; nor even on My cheeks didst thou surmise the flush of shame; nor didst thou feel the quick beat­ing of My sorrowing heart, as Judas did in the Garden.

"Such great forbearance belongs to the past; for I have rent My Sacramental vesture, wrenched the nails from My hands and feet. See here! The crown of thorns is become the Crown of the Lord and Eternal King, the purple of My Blood is My mantle of infinite Majesty; the Cross is transformed into My throne of Power and Glory; the long­-drawn-out silence of My Patience has changed to overwhelming Indignation; and I come to thee, not to suffer thee, not to have compassion, not to for­give: I come to judge thee. I am Jesus!"

Resolution
I shall think more often of Christ, Judge of living and dead, surrounded with pomp and splendour, as He is portrayed in the ancient prophecies and the Gospels, so that my love for Him may blend with a healthy and chastening fear as well as with confidence. I need this fear as a breakwater to my tidal waves of passion.

Oh, if only I could strike the rock of my heart until there sprang instinctively to my lips these cries of the Dies irae!

Quid sum miser tunc dicturus?
Quem patronum rogaturus,
Cum vix justus sit securus?

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Adapted from The Priest at Prayer
by Fr. Eugenio Escribano, C.M. (© 1954)
Translated by B.T. Buckley, C.M.

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Please pray for our priests and pray for vocations to the priesthood!