Before posting this talk, it seems appropriate to acknowledge that it is only by God's grace that fathers can become fathers. It is only by His gift of woman to man and of man to woman that this miracle of fatherhood and motherhood could exist. And it is only by His grace and our acceptance of this grace that we can commit to the total self-giving of a husband to his wife and a wife to her husband so that we might come to realize this gift of fatherhood and motherhood.
And, as a father, one must not neglect to thank his wife for being a very necessary and integral part of this great gift and responsibility - for without her, he could not be a father.
Fathers' Day, it seems, should be, not only a day of thanksgiving to God for one's father, and to one's father for his love and sacrifice, but it should also be a day of special thanks to one's wife without whom there would be no Fathers' day.
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"Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend that you may know prudence." Psalm 4:1.
Bill was a grocery clerk, an efficient and conscientious worker. His education stopped at the ninth grade, but his character kept on growing, especially with the responsibility of a wife and six children.
Several summers ago Bill and the Mrs. sent their youngest son, a boy of ten, to camp for two weeks, although they could little afford it.
Toward the end of the first week came word from the camp that their boy had taken ill with what the doctors thought was infantile paralysis. Bill rushed out after working hours to find his son lying still as a statue on the white linens of a tiny cot.
"Hello, son," he called out, "how's the boy?"
The lad began to cry, and between whimpers managed to say:
"I don't feel so good, Dad. And besides, I'm the only boy in this whole camp who does not have a camera."
"A camera?" echoed Bill. "Do you think you ought to have a camera?"
"Sure, Dad," said the boy, "everybody else has one, but I don't."
"Well, you'll have one," declared Dad, even though he did not know where he could get one, and how he could pay for it if he found one.
As Bill left his boy's room one of the doctors remarked that it was a serious case, that two other boys with the same symptoms were almost sure to die, and that they would not know for another forty-eight hours just what chance his boy had to live.
You can imagine how frantically Bill searched the stores of his home town in those war days trying to find a camera. Finally he found what he thought would fill the bill. He rushed out to the camp and laid it beside his son's pillow just as the lad awoke from a fitful sleep. The boy's face broke into a smile; he clutched the camera, muttering with all his soul:
"Gee, Dad, thanks."
In less than an hour he was sitting up in bed, on the way to recovery. In a day he was up and around.
"The doctor said it was a miracle," Bill remarked to the neighbors, "because two other boys died who seemed to have the same symptoms. Maybe it was a miracle."
But one of the doctors, who must have known about Dads, gave the best explanation. He said: "No, Bill, it was a miracle from a Dad - a miracle of a father's devotion and sacrifice."
Such stories of Dads' devotion could be multiplied by the thousands in any community. Perhaps not all are as dramatic, but they all show no less devotion to their boys and girls. On this Fathers' Day we want to express to our fathers our deep appreciation of the big and little favors like this which they have performed for us, ever since we were so small we could not remember or count them. What makes a good father?
1. He is head of the house, not in the sense of being a tyrant, a Hitler, a Stalin, a dictator, but in the sense that he takes the lead in everything worthwhile in the home. He makes the final decisions in material and financial matters, always of course, considering the mother's sort of sixth sense called intuition, whereby she seems to know just what will work and what will not.
2. Above all father takes the lead in spiritual things. He leads family prayer; he receives the Sacraments regularly; he gives an example of true Catholic life.
He takes an interest in the religious training of the children. He helps teach them their prayers before they ever start to school. He hears their Catechism lesson and explains what is not clear. He sees that the home is provided with religious pictures, a holy water font, sick call outfit and good reading.
3. A real father takes a keen interest in the education of his boys and girls. He encourages study. He asks about school and school work. He listens to their little stories about what happens. He praises as well as disciplines.
4. A real father gives some of his leisure time regularly to his children. Perhaps he has precious few moments to spend with them, but that should make his interest all the more sympathetic and devoted. He learns to play with them, to take them to ball games, fishing, hunting, swimming, or just for a walk. He takes them to a zoo or to the park to see the boats on the lake. These are bright spots in every boyhood and girlhood.
5. A real father will gain the confidence and trust of his children by answering their questions, even though they may seem too delicate or embarassing: he will tell them the facts of life, so they need not learn them in the alley, on the street-corner or in the pool hall.
This is, indeed, a taxing schedule, especially when it is added to the daily toil of most fathers to feed, clothe, house and care for his loved ones. But these so-called extras are important. Your son's and daughter's happiness now and later in life, yes, even his and her eternal happiness depend greatly on the sacrifices like that of Bill for his sick boy.
Thank God, we have many fathers who fill all the requirements that have been pointed out. Thank God, that you have many good fathers in your parish and in your community.
Today, Dad, we hail you with gratitude and affection. Today we thank God for you. Today we thank you for the many sacrifices you made for our comfort and health and enjoyment, sacrifices like that of Bill for his son.
Today we pay tribute to all the excellent fathers in the world. We are proud of you. May God bless you and keep you and help you in that task assigned you by God, who in turn will reward you. Amen.
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Adapted from Occasional Talks
by Fr. Arthur Tonne, OFM (©1949)
