"Every kingdom divided against itself shall be brought to desolation." St. Luke, 11:17.
A Protestant minister told me this story. There came to his office one day a well-dressed woman and her husband. Both were strangers. When he asked what he could do for them the woman spoke up: "We came to see you about our son. He is seventeen and until now has given us no trouble. But he is running with the wrong crowd. I would like to have him join your Sunday school. Perhaps you know some lads who could get next to him and get him to join."
"Fine," answered the minister, "I will see what I can do." As he took down the name and address he asked the couple: "Do you and your husband come to this church?"
"No, we don't," the mother replied. "My husband works hard all week and Sunday is the only day we have together."
The preacher stroked his chin and continued: "I have a plan for getting your boy to church. We have a men's Bible class. and a group for mothers. If you and your husband take part, your boy will follow."
"But, sir," objected the woman, "we don't have time. We are not concerned about ourselves. It's the boy. We will do anything to get him into Sunday school."
"My dear woman," the minister said slowly and solemnly, "permit me to be frank. You said you would do anything. Yet you will not do the one thing that will bring your boy to church: you yourself will not come. If you will not give up a Sunday outing and trip, then don't expect anybody else to bring him here."
As the parents drove away the preacher sighed: "I would like to see someone get that boy into Sunday school with an example like that."
Those parents were neglecting one of their spiritual duties - good example. Happiness here and hereafter depend largely upon the performance of those spiritual duties. Let me name them - parents are bound to instruct their children by word and example; they must give them a Catholic education; they must truly love their children; they must pray for them and correct them.
1. Teaching religion should begin not when the child starts to school or catechism class, but as soon as a child begins to talk and understand, even before. Teach your child to make the sign of the cross, to say the Our Father and the Hail Mary and a prayer to his Guardian Angel. You tell him stories about Mother Goose? Why not tell him stories about Mother Mary? You teach him songs, don't you? Why not teach him sacred songs?
Teach your child by example. Pray at meals and bedtime and your child will pray. Go to Mass and the sacraments regularly and your child will do the same. Tell the truth always, respect the names of God, and your child will do the same.
2. Give your child a Catholic education at all costs. Get rid of the false and groundless idea that Catholic schools are inferior in any way to other schools. Read the record. Pupils and graduates of Catholic schools walk off with the lion's share of honors in any and every contest yon can mention. In addition, they learn about God. What could be more important and intelligent than that?
3. Parents are bound to love their children, not merely in a natural way, but for spiritual reasons. Your child is a sacred charge, an immortal soul committed to your care. You must wish and seek what makes for your child's highest welfare and good - the good of his or her soul. Yet, your love must be well ordered, guided by prudence, impartiality and common sense. Love of a child must never make you blind to his or her faults.
4. Another responsibility parents have toward their children is to pray for them. I know that you do pray for the little ones God has given you, but do you pray enough and do you pray in the right way? If half the time devoted to scolding and lecturing would be given to prayer for a child, ten times more good would be accomplished.
I would particularly recommend prayer to the Holy Spirit in the guidance of your little one. How often parents throw up their hands and exclaim: "I don't know what to do with him - or with her."
The Holy Spirit is the God of wisdom and counsel. If you ask Him humbly and often in prayer, He will guide you in guiding your boys and girls.
5. Lastly you are bound to correct your children. This is a positive duty too often neglected, especially in moral matters. Tell them plainly and positively what is right and wrong. Show no fear or favor in pointing out what is not according to God's wishes. Adjust your remarks to their age and temperament, but do point out how to improve morally.
Correct prudently. Tell them why it is wrong. Show them the beauty and strength of virtue. Advise and explain; then punish. But punish without temper, passion and cursing. Cruelty is out.
Teen-agers offer special problems. Try to understand their problems, problems which are quite different from what they were in your youth. God's law is still the same. Insist upon its observance. Despite tears and wails and pouting, insist on what you are sure is right.
Jesus tells us that a kingdom divided against itself shall be destroyed. If that most important kingdom, the home, is not together in spiritual matters, the family will fall. If father and mother do not give the best example, if they do not teach their charges how to lead good lives; -- if they do not show true love of their boys and girls, if they do not pray for them and correct them, then we can expect that family to fail and fall.
Think of that mother and father of our story. They failed in their most important spiritual duty to their son, the duty of good example. May God help every parent in your parish and your town, to perform his and her spiritual duties to every child.
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Adapted from Talks on the Commandments, (1948)
by Fr. Arthur Tonne
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