Msgr. Kelley in his "Dominus Vobiscum" tells of a deathbed incident which has a deep lesson for all, but especially, for priests. The Archbishop of San Francisco sat near his dying priest, and, seeing him downcast, asked: "Father, are you afraid to meet God?"
The good priest looked at his archbishop with a steady gaze and answered: "No, I am not afraid. I have confidence in His mercy and charity. No, I am not afraid to meet Him. But" - and here his eyes filled with tears - "I have another feeling that makes me sad: I am ashamed...Ashamed, because I have so little to offer Him for such a long life in His service."
On being assured that he had been a hard-working and most successful priest, the dying man insisted: "I myself know best the opportunities I have missed. I am ashamed because I did not do more."
How many of us can hope to be free from such death-bed regrets?
Whether we look at our own spiritual life or at the works of our ministry, are we not poignantly conscious - in our more serious moods - that we could have done much more?
This feeling may have come upon us at times with a special urge, a saving grace: perhaps a dangerous sickness putting us unexpectedly face to face with death, has made us exclaim in all sincerity: "If I am given another chance, my life will be a very different one." But, perhaps also health returned, and with it our old habits of a very average zeal and of spiritual mediocrity... Or, we hear of a friends's death; - an anniversary comes round; - advancing years begin to tell: and we confess: "My own turn may come soon, my time in this world is closing, yet how empty it is of the higher life!" Fleeting impressions, too often barren of practical results.
* A recollection day is a good opportunity to guard ourselves against laying up a stock of bitter regrets for our death-bed and to school ourselves to sustained fervor, by reflecting upon the priceless value of Time and the use we can and ought to make of it.
THE TREASURE IN OUR HANDS
Every moment is an opportunity offered us by God. The value of Time is measured by the use it can be put to: it is measured therefore by eternity, for the use we make of every single moment makes us better or worse is a help or a hindrance for making others better - for all eternity. What a responsibility!
The value of Time for us may be considered, in a way, as measured by the value of Christ's Precious Blood: does not every moment of Time come to us laden with the merits of that Precious Blood? The graces merited by Christ's death upon the Cross are always at hand. Not a moment in our daily life but we can make use of it to obtain some practical application of Christ's redeeming Sacrifice, for our own soul, for the flock entrusted to us, for Christ's Mystical Body on earth, for the suffering souls in purgatory. . .
Let us try and realize more and more, with a practical spirit of faith, what we know full well in theory: that each day God gives us is a great gift of His loving mercy, that each day puts at our disposal a series of graces merited for us by the Precious Blood of Christ, that each day may leave its mark for all eternity on the state of our soul, of innumerable other souls. . .
* Pray that the Holy Spirit may fill our souls with those lights from on high: "Veni, Sancte Spiritus... Da nobis recta sapere..." - Resolve to look upon Time as an inexhaustible mine of pure gold, out of which we can quarry eternal happiness for men and glory for God.
"NEGOTIAMINI DUM VENIO"
If such is the value of Time, let us hasten to make every use of it while it is ours: "Negotiamini dum venio..." Comes the night of life, when we shall look in vain for another working hour: "Venit nox quando nemo potest operari."
"Recta sapere", then, means to make the most of our life now, day after day: not to be satisfied with living just a decent sort of life, minting some money for heaven on the one hand, but on the other squandering a good deal of that precious Time in vain and profitless occupations, little in keeping with our sacerdotal character and without any use for our eternal destiny.
Let us endeavour, rather, to imprint on all our actions a truly supernatural character that will draw largely and unceasingly on the merits of Christ's Precious Blood: put fervour in our official prayers and spiritual exercises, the normal channel for God's grace, and find time for additional supplications "ad thronum gratiae"; perform the duties of our sacred ministry with a zeal that leaves us no rest so long as we can do something more for souls; sanctify and make fruitful, by the purity of our intention, even our most ordinary and trivial occupations; turn into pure gold the hard metal of trials and sufferings that come our way and the mortifications we can add, by uniting them to Christ's sufferings in the spirit of love and union.
* Compare with this program of life the way I spent my time, say yesterday: If I were to die today, what would I like to have done - or to have left undone - yesterday? The answer will give me the clue to fruitful conclusions for this recollection, and help me to aim at that fullness of life to which St Paul exhorts us: "Ut ambuletis digne Deo, per omnia placentes, in omni opere bono fructificantes" (Col. 1:10).
How much time have I wasted? Hence, "tempus instanter operando redimere" (Oration of St Stanislaus Kostka).
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Adapted from Alter Christus, Meditations for Priests by F.X. L'Hoir, S.J. (1958)
Meditation 9.
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Please pray for our priests and pray for vocations to the priesthood.
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