(Christ.) Son, thou hast many things still to learn, which thou hast not yet well learned.
(Disciple.) What are these things, O Lord?
(Christ.) That thou conform in all things thy desire to My good pleasure; and that thou be not a lover of thyself, but earnestly zealous that My will may be done. Desires often inflame thee, and violently hurry thee on; but consider whether it be for My honour or thy own interest that thou art more moved.
-Bk. III, ch. xi.
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My year of novitiate, which had seemed so long, at last came to an end, but Mother Prioress told me that my Profession was out of the question, as our ecclesiastical Superior would not allow it. I was obliged, therefore, to wait for another eight months.
At first I found it hard to make the sacrifice, but soon God enlightened my soul. I was meditating at the time on P. Surin's Foundations of the Spiritual Life. One day during prayer I understood how much self-love there was in my longing to make my vows. If I belonged to Jesus as His little plaything, to rejoice and comfort Him, I ought not to force Him to do my will instead of His own. I also understood that a bride should be adorned with jewels on her wedding day, and I had not thought of this. I therefore said to Our Lord: I will no longer ask to make my Profession; I am content to wait, but I do not want our union to be put off through my fault, so I will prepare a bridal dress resplendent with diamonds and precious stones. When it is rich enough, Thou wilt take me for Thy bride.
-The Story of a Soul (L'Histoire d'une Âme).
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For more information, see this post.
Adapted from Just For Today(©1943 Burns & Oates)
Nihil Obstat: Reginaldus Phillips, S.T.L.,Censor deputatus
Imprimatur: Edwardus Myers, Vic. Cap.
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