If I am afraid sometimes at the thought of events which worry me, or at the prospect of possible physical suffering or failures in my apostolate, I am lacking in faith.
My faith in God is weak. I recite the Credo the same as anyone else, but I am far from giving to the phrases I recite their full implication. Instead of saying "I believe in God," I ought to say, if I were sincere, "I do not believe in God." It is not an absolute certitude with me that God has perfect mastery over individuals and circumstances; I reason about life like those for whom the Lord is not truly the Lord; I neglect to examine the things of earth in the light of eternity.
If I were entirely sincere, could I even say with sincere truth the first words of the Our Father? In affirming that God is our Father, do I not affirm that everything under any circumstances emanates from the all-powerful and paternal goodness of the Most High?
I forget the power of God.
I forget the Fatherhood of God.
That is why I am no longer able to say the Our Father and Credo with perfect sincerity.
Yes, O my God, I wish to be able to say them with my whole soul by exercising all my faith. I have finished judging by appearances only. Now the words suffering, trials, difficulties, weariness, death take on a new meaning. All is controlled by Thy Infinite Power. All emanates from Thy Infinite Love.
Shall I fear with a God who is God, with a God who is my Father?
_________________
Adapted from Meditations for Religious
by Father Raoul Plus, S.J. (© 1939, Frederick Pustet Co.)
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