Humility
The Priest's Need of Humility
I. Humility consists in a very true knowledge of oneself and self-contempt based upon that knowledge: sui ipsius verissima cognitio et despectio. But self-contempt of the right type, not the kind that, if carried too far, would lead to a moral breakdown. For, as Lactantius says when reproaching the old pagans with this false humility: Ne se tam opere despiciant, neve se infirmos et supervacuos et nihili et frustra omnino natos putent; quae opinio plerosque ad vitia compellit - Let them not despise themselves so utterly, or think themselves so weak and useless and devoid of purpose in life, because that idea of theirs drives many of them to vice.
No; man is something great; the world and all its wonders were devised for him alone, to provide him with a habitation; he was created to know God, his Father and the Creator of the universe; and as a Father man worships Him, serves, loves, and reveres Him; thus meriting to enter into His Father's inheritance, into everlasting Life, into the Kingdom of God. This is the great mystery of man: of man who in outward appearance would seem as lowly as the creatures that do not survive the dust of earth.
The human being is of infinite worth: the very Son of God became Man, and for mankind He shed His Blood, and raised man to a level where he might share in the Nature of God Himself: Divinae consortes Naturae.
And I, as a priest, over and above all other titles to respect, have that participation in Christ's Eternal Priesthood, that ineffable power to change the substances of bread and wine into His Body and Blood, and that equally unspeakable power to reach right down to the centre of the human soul in order to cleanse it from the leprosy of sin.
O God, I have no right to despise myself; like the humble Virgin of Nazareth, I have the right and duty to sing:
Magnificat anima mea Dominum. . . .Great wonders, O God, Thou hast wrought in me; wonders that would be dismissed as incredible, were it not for the lamp of Christian Faith which enlightens them and me.
Quia fecit mihi magna qui potens est. (Luke i, 46)
From now on, Lord, I shall esteem myself as Thy child; as a vessel of clay, no doubt, but a vessel brimming over from the torrents of Thy gracious Bounty.
II. The tragedy is that these great wonders and mercies are not usually the things which fascinate me and sweep me off my feet, they are not the things that fill me with pride. No, the sin of pride, says St. Chrysostom, belongs to small-minded people. I take pride in the supposed riches of my intellect: I'm clever, wise, and have a keen sense of justice; I'm not like the other fellow - as the puffed-up pharisee would say.
For the sake of argument let me just suppose that, really, I am outstanding in talent and good qualities: I was a shining example in my class as a student, I put my fellow students in the shade; and now the praises of my priestly virtue and ability are being sung for miles around. Moreover, let me suppose that this opinion of myself is not the outcome of stupid vanity; I'm not blinded by vanity, like so many others of my acquaintance who entertain the very same opinion of themselves; no - for argument's sake - it is an unchallengeable fact - which is saying a lot! - and everybody else feels about me the same as I do, or even better than I do. Now, without comparing myself with others, what "riches" does my privileged intellect enshrine? What knowledge do I possess? What truths have I discovered for myself? What chasm depths have I penetrated and scrutinised ? Yes, I have a few shallow notions stored up in my memory, the fruit of random reading; but could I reduce them to any semblance of order? Do I venture to call wisdom and knowledge a certain facility for stringing a few words together and giving a bit of polish to an odd phrase or two? Am I to go down in history as a man of learning, as an intellectual star of the first or tenth magnitude? The plain truth is that I know very little, and what little I do know I know very imperfectly, and I know it because I've taken it from a book. My boast of cleverness and learning is something very hollow, ridiculous, puerile.
And what about the pride I take in my moral goodness? Could I call myself good when face to face with the Crucifix or my own conscience? Have I forgotten all my disloyalties? Have the unruly cravings of the flesh left no trace in my memory or in my flesh of shameful condescensions? And even if, by God's special mercy, I am gradually and reluctantly gaining the upperhand over them, can't I see clearly that, but for this Mercy, and left to my own devices, those same cravings would soon turn my heart into a cesspool, and would tear to rags and tatters the precious vesture of my nobility of soul and my priestly dignity?
O Jesus, Scrutiniser of hearts and souls, I confess in Thy sight that each time I boasted of my learning I was a fool; each time I gloried in my personal goodness, I was a whited sepulchre.
III. And if pride has made me ambitious; if I have aspired to the limelight; if I have sought to have my own way and thought myself worthy of the highest preferences, complaining within myself unashamedly when those preferences were not held out to me, ascribing it to malicious intent on the part of my superiors, and not for a moment to my personal shortcomings intellectual and moral. . . . And if, by devious ways and means, my search for the high places was crowned with success, I arrived at the titles of Lord and Master, was reverenced in the market place and in Church assemblies; I now confess before Thee, O God crucified and sacramentally abased in the Tabernacle, I confess that I have not understood the lesson Thou taughtest at the Last Supper:
It shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be the greater among you, let him be your minister.And if, after reaching the (more or less) high dignities of the Church - whatever the approach may have been: by the front door or aliunde, as our Lord would say - and safely ensconced therein, I began to think myself superior to the rest of men, even above my peers in hierarchical dignity - the "other priests" - and swelled with pride, taking the richly embroidered vestments and precious ornaments and extrinsic titles befitting my rank as signs and symbols of my own personal worth, as though I were no longer a fellow-servant of my brethren, even the lowliest; as though no one should dare call me my mother's son; if I have stuck my nose into the air and drawn myself up and raised my eyebrows and demanded the courtesy given to God; if to those who humbled themselves before me, perhaps because their daily bread depends on me, I have replied - if indeed any reply has been forthcoming - with disdain and arrogance; if I have made myself unapproachable to others, except through the valley of fear and dread; to others who, to say the least, are also children of God the same as myself. . . ah, then, besides exposing to hatred and contempt an ecclesiastical authority which is but a participation of the Fatherly Authority of God and of the merciful Dominion of Christ over souls purchased by His love and blood, how can I evade the curse fulminated by Holy Scripture?
And he that will be first among you shall be your servant.
Even as the Son of man is not come to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life a redemption for many. (Matt. xx, 26-28.)
He that exalteth himself shall be humbled. (Luke xviii, 14)Resolutions
A most severe judgement shall be for them that bear rule.-(Wisdom vi, 6)
1. By God's grace, I shall overcome that small mindedness which sometimes proceeds from pride, at other times from mere cowardice, but invariably issues from effeminacy and laziness; I shall react strongly against it, considering that any priest, however untalented, can do an inimense good, both by administering the Sacraments assiduously - where the divine effects are produced ex opere operato - and by zealously instructing, exhorting, going in search of souls; all of which requires mainly will-power and a burning love for God and souls, rather than a mind teeming with lofty thoughts.
2. I renew a resolution I took before: not to aspire after ecclesiastical dignities along any but the most lawful channels; and if I do not get them, instead of murmuring against human injustices, I shall silently adhere to the Will of God, without Whose permission not a leaf stirs upon a tree; and I shall establish myself in the conviction that God's Will is for the best, and perhaps my being denied such and such a dignity is one of God's greatest mercies towards me. Surely I have seen how, for some, their elevation to high office was the beginning and the occasion of their own undoing both spiritual and temporal.
3. If, in God's inscrutable Designs, I should come to be burdened with those high dignities, I shall struggle against all self-elation; I shall retain my sense of proportion, of my own lowliness in the eyes of God and those of my own conscience, knowing as I do that there is much in me of base and vile; and I shall treat my equals, and especially those subordinate to me, with all kindness and courtesy, after the manner of Christ
"Whose nature is, from the first, Divine, and yet he did not see, in the rank of Godhead, a prize to be coveted."No, He did not imperiously demand that at every moment men should be in fear and trembling in His Presence, as in the awe-inspiring Presence of God; He waived aside, as it were, all preferential treatment,
"he dispossessed himself, and took the nature of a slave, fashioned in the likeness of men, and presenting himself to us in human form; and then he lowered his own dignity, accepted an obedience which brought him to death, death on a cross." (Philip. ii, 5-8)Jesus, no, I do not want to stoop so low as to act the part of the heathen; I do not wish to make myself a little tin-god with those ecclesiastical dignities instituted by Thee and Thy holy Church, not for the sake of creating repulsion, but in order to attract souls to their Redeemer.
_________________________
Adapted from The Priest at Prayer
by Fr. Eugenio Escribano, C.M. (© 1954)
Translated by B.T. Buckley, C.M.
###
Please pray for our priests and pray for vocations to the priesthood!
No comments:
Post a Comment