Temptations are often very profitable to a man, although they be troublesome and grievous: for in them a man is humbled, purified, and instructed. All the saints have passed through many tribulations and have profited by them: and they who could not support temptations have become reprobate, and fell off.
There is not any Order so holy, nor place so retired, where there are not temptations and adversities.
-Bk. I, ch. xiii.
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On the eve of Profession - which is usually spent in holy joy and peace before the dawn of the great day - I suddenly saw my vocation as a delusion, a dream. The devil - for it was assuredly he - inspired me with the conviction that the life of a Carmelite was quite unsuited to me, and that I was deceiving my Superiors by continuing in it in spite of having no vocation.
I was plunged into such darkness that I could only see one thing clearly, which was, that not being called to the religious life, I must go back to the world. My distress was indescribable and I did not know what to do. However, I did the very best thing by revealing this temptation to my novice mistress; I called her out of choir, and feeling much ashamed told her in what state I was. Luckily she saw through the temptation, and laughingly reassured me.
My act of humility instantly put the devil to flight; he had tried to make me conceal the trial and so fall into the trap, but he himself was caught, for I told all to Mother Prioress as well, and her consoling answer dispelled any lingering doubts.
-The Story of a Soul (L'Histoire d'une Âme).
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For more information, see this post.
Adapted from Just For Today(©1943 Burns & Oates)
Nihil Obstat: Reginaldus Phillips, S.T.L.,Censor deputatus
Imprimatur: Edwardus Myers, Vic. Cap.
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