Thou showest me to myself, what I am, what I have been, and what I am come to: for I am nothing, and I knew it not. If I am left to myself, behold I am nothing, and all weakness; but it is very wonderful that I am so quickly raised up, and so graciously embraced by Thee.
It is Thy love that effects this, freely preventing me and assisting me in so many necessities; preserving me also from grievous dangers, and, as I may truly say, delivering me from innumerable evils.
-Bk. III, ch. viii.
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Our Lord knew that I was too weak to be exposed to temptation; I would have burnt my wings in the flame of this world, so I was not shown its deceptive light. Where strong souls finds happiness, yet deny themselves out of fidelity, I find only suffering. What merit, then, can I claim for not having fallen a victim to such attachments, when it was the mercy of God that prevented me? Without Him I could have fallen as low as St Mary Magdalen, and His grave words to Simon the Pharisee stir me to the depths of my soul. I know that to whom less is forgiven, he loveth less (Luke vii, 47), and yet I have been forgiven more than was St Mary Magdalen.
It is difficult to explain what I mean, but the following example will help: supposing the son of a clever doctor stumbles over a stone on the road and breaks a limb. His father hastens to him, lifts him up lovingly and attends to his injury, making use of his medical skill. When cured, his son will show his gratitude, having every reason to love so kind a father. Here is another example: the father, knowing there is a dangerous obstacle in his son's path, goes on ahead and, unseen by anyone, removes it. The son, not knowing what he owes to his father's foresight, naturally does not express his gratitude, and loves him less than he would if cured of a serious injury. If, however, he comes to hear of it, he will love his father more than before.
I am the privileged child of God's loving Providence, of the Father who sent His Word not to call the just, but sinners (Luke v, 32). He expects me to love Him, not because He has forgiven me much, but because He has forgiven me all. Before receiving any proof of my love such as St Mary Magdalen gave, He let me know how much He had shielded and loved me, that I might love Him with my whole heart in return. I have often heard it said at retreats and at other times that no innocent soul loves more than a repentant one, but I long to prove this untrue.
-The Story of a Soul (L'Histoire d'une Âme).
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For more information, see this post.
Adapted from Just For Today(©1943 Burns & Oates)
Nihil Obstat: Reginaldus Phillips, S.T.L.,Censor deputatus
Imprimatur: Edwardus Myers, Vic. Cap.
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